If You Aren't Reading...

...Stuff Christians Like, you are missing out.

Jon's post today was incredibly awesome, and as always, the comments to the post were even better.

Check it out. I'm not going to cite any of it here, because you need to go to his website. Read one post and you'll be hooked.

Bookmark SCL and read it daily. You'll always get a good laugh, but sometimes you'll get so much more.

The Whole Thing

OK, I've mentioned this blog before, but today's post was so good I'm copying the whole thing over here for you to read.

#212. Shrinking God.

We make God small sometimes. We don't mean to. I mean in our heads we know He is big and massive. We know He created the Rockies and Switzerland and the manatee. We know His power and grace stretches across the fabric of history but we still find ways to shrink Him down.

It happens for a lot of reasons, but one is because doubt is easier than faith. Doubt springs forth with natural momentum, faith takes effort. Even when good things happen to me, I immediately start waiting for the other shoe to drop. I treat good things like teenagers treat quiet scenes in horror movies. I walk into the good and say, "Hello, is anyone there? It's good in here, too good." And then I wait for something horrible to come back into the picture. Because I doubt God can sustain the good in my life. He is not big enough. I do it constantly with this site. When friends ask me about it or the book I always say, "It's going well but we'll see." The phrase "we'll see" is my way of saying, "good things don't last. God is not big enough to do the things I would like to do. He is small."

But then something happened.

An MIT professor made God bigger for me. That wasn’t his intention. He was trying to stretch the Bose brand. They make Wave Radios and other stereo equipment. He was frustrated that writers like me were not taking any chances with the advertising. He was disappointed that we were not taking any risks and the writing we created was flat, lifeless and boring.

His biggest issue was that we were making his brand, the very soul of his company, very, very small. And he decided to explain the problem in a simple way that ultimately changed how I look at God.

Dr. Bose said that his brand was like a soccer field. It was big and wide, with large expanses for us to creatively play around in. And he wanted us to. He wanted us to explore every inch of that large field. But, when he communicated his vision to his second in command, that person got a little scared. They didn’t want to go out of bounds, to stumble passed the boundaries and get in trouble with Dr. Bose, so they drew the lines for the soccer field a few feet smaller than Dr. Bose had. That way, if they went over their own lines, they were still a few feet from Dr. Bose’s. And when the third in command got his instructions from the second in command, she was afraid to step over the second in command’s boundaries, so she drew the lines a little smaller. And then the fourth in command drew them smaller. And the fifth in command did the same thing and so on and so on until the brand finally got to me.

By the time I got it, the brand had been whittled to about the size of a postage stamp, which left me very little room to be creative. What I would end up writing was a disappointment to Dr. Bose because I clearly hadn’t explored his whole soccer field. I was stuck in a little one foot by one foot tuft of grass trying my best, but suffocating nonetheless under the rules and regulations that had been layered on by each person that had touched the brand.

I don’t think it’s crazy to draw a parallel with the way we treat God sometimes. I think that it’s easy to read the Bible, get a little nervous and pull the reins in on life. I think sometimes the picture we hand to people of God’s love and forgiveness has been downsized by our concern to stay within the bounds, versus play within the field. Our pastor gets a small field from his seminary professor who got a small field from their Board of Directors who got a small field from the Board of Trustees who got a small field from someone else and by the time you get it on a Sunday morning during service, God is microscopic.

It’s easy to do, and you can see it with things like the verse that says “Nothing can separate us from God’s love.” We start to think that he didn’t really mean nothing. I mean "nothing" is so huge. We should rein that in a little so that we don’t mess up. So let’s add some conditions to nothing. And all sins are equal but are they really? We should probably put some small conditions around that one too. Now that I think of it, 10 commandments was a good start, but it's not enough. Let's add a few. Let's follow the 30 commandments. And the whole, "love God, love yourself, love your neighbor" thing can't really be the most important things we need to do. That sounds too simple. Let's expand that a little.

And on and on until we’ve shrunk God with conditions and expectations. We’ve taken his grandness and washed him in the hot water of fear and logic until he’s manageable and wee.

God is bigger than we can grasp. He has a soccer field the size of the universe for us to explore. He wants us to play. I want us to play. I want run through every inch of his soccer field. I hope you want to run too.

Next time someone tries to make him small, remember the lesson from Dr. Bose and refuse to accept a postage stamp God.

Check out more hilarity and occasional deepness at Stuff Christians Like.

Plan A

"God always has Plan A for your life."
Brad Larson

I have heard Brad say this 100 times, and I know he sincerely believes it because he has lived it.

Last night I had a conversation with a dear friend. She's a single mom in her late 20's, and just found out she is one of 45 million Americans with an incurable but treatable STD.

She's really sincere and growing in her relationship with God, but she's had a long journey to get to this point. Like all of us, she's made mistakes, and she continues to face consequences for the choices she made years ago.

She was really discouraged, and said that she thought at this point that maybe it just wasn't meant for her to find a husband. Although I understand her point of view - who wants to have that conversation with a guy that you like? - I had to argue with her.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11

God's gifts and God's call are under full warranty
—never canceled, never rescinded.
Romans 11:29

The Lord directs the steps of the godly.
He delights in every detail of their lives.
Psalm 37:23

True, God's plan for our lives is like the shortest distance between two points. In his perfect plan for our lives, we leave Point A and go directly to Point B. Sometimes, in our view, there is no way possible to get from Point A to Point B. And so we make right turns and left turns, trying to figure our own way to the place we want to be.

In our lives, we make choices every day. God's spirit lives within us and directs our steps, and with his help, we can make the right choices. But when we don't, when we choose our own way, that doesn't change the final destination. It just changes the path we take to get there.

No matter what we have done, no matter how many self-inflicted detours, there is always time to make a U-turn and follow God's directions to get to Point B. God always has Plan A for our lives.

Truth in Advertising

I listen to Pandora radio most of the day. I have about 12 stations, from Josh Groban to Yanni to Corinne Bailey Rae.

As with most free web stuff, there are always ads on the left side of the page. They usually employ tons of graphics to try to get me interested in whatever they're advertising. And it never works.

But today, I clicked an ad. This one:

I can't exactly say why. It might have been the Napoleon Dynamite-esqu artwork. It certainly had to do with the humor that was so true. Aren't ALL web video clips grainy? Why do we try to say otherwise?

The video clip was brief and, as advertised, grainy. It was intriguing enough for me to click through, but in the end, I'm not that interested in Mexican beer. If that's even what the ambiguous website is trying to advertise. It seems more like a travel brochure than anything.

Anyhow, here's my deep thought for the day. If you're really honest about what you're offering, even if whatever you're offering kind of sucks, it might work if you do it with humor. I do not think that has any real-life application value at all, but take it for what it's worth.

If you'd like a true deep thought of the day, check out Brian's blog.

Last weekend, as we were driving home from a friend's birthday party, Martin and I saw the most peculiar sight. As we merged onto the 51 going south, a caravan of 5 or 6 large trucks moved onto the 101 going north. As they progressed, I was struck by what an odd and attention-getting sight they were. It was immediately obvious that they did not belong with the rest of the cars on the highway. It wasn't their size, or the fact that they were all very similar and traveling together. It was that these trucks were all painted in green camouflage.

The irony struck me: the purpose of camouflage is to be "indiscernible from the surrounding environment". However, in their current environment, the feature that should have made them invisible made them quite obvious.

How often are we, as Christians, just like that?
Martin and I (finally) watched the first episode of Survivor: China last night. I'd already checked out the player profiles, and when I saw Leslie's profile, a Christian radio host, I hoped she would be normal. My hopes were deflated when Leslie wouldn't participate in a welcoming ceremony, seemed visibly frightened by the Buddhist statues in the temple, and then said, "The Big Guy is blessing us" when it started to rain on them at the campsite.

I had my reasons to fear: most of the past openly Christian contestants have been weird:

• Dirk (1: Borneo) brought his Bible as his luxury item, and he lay in a hammock all day reading it while the other players worked.
  
• John (5: Thailand) was a pastor and his luxury item was a Christian flag. He was voted out first because the other players didn't like him giving orders.
  
• Joanna (6: Amazon) listed "fellowship with other Christian believers" and "lifting up the name of the Lord Jesus Christ in pure praise and worship" as her hobbies in her profile. She freaked out when her team won the challenge - yelling "Jesus loves Jaburu!" (her team name) - but refused to allow the immunity idol in the camp because it was an idol.

As Christians, we've created a sub-culture (a counterfeit of the true culture) of and for Christians: Christian T-shirts, Christian music, Christian MySpace, Christian You-Tube... the list is pathetically long. We even have our own language (Christian-ese)!

I've been reading a series of articles recently about the impact we make on those who come into our churches for the first time. Our friendliness, language or vocabulary can all serve to communicate that church is a closed community and you don't belong.

Our culture sees Christians, in general, as Ned Flanders or money-hungry TV flakes or hateful, backwards gay-bashers (who are sometimes gay themselves) or miracle-touting, ridiculously showy quacks. We've certainly given them very little reason to think otherwise.

Why do we find it so hard to be normal? And is "normal" really a goal we should be trying to attain?

The Bible tells us to be set apart.

Leviticus 20:26 (NIV)
You are to be holy to me because I, the LORD, am holy, and I have set you apart from the nations to be my own.

Jeremiah 1:5 (NIV)
Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.

Jesus should always be our example of how to live our lives. He, too, was set apart (John 10:36, Hebrews 7:26). How did he interact with people? Was he perceived as weird?

I once heard a pastor say that Jesus didn't walk around, hovering a foot above the ground, with cherubs buzzing around his head. We know this because children loved to around him, so much that his disciples had to shoo them away.

Jesus' ministry was very focused on the culture and time that he was in. With few exceptions, he focused on the Jewish people, speaking to them in their cultural language. The entire society was well-versed in the Scripture, and were all very aware of the prophecies concerning the Messiah. He strategically used this commonality both to show those who were looking for the Messiah that he had come, and to confound the religious, who were abusing and misinterpreting God's laws, and those with selfish motives.

Although much of what he said seems foreign to us now, many of his stories were designed to be completely understandable to the common, uneducated man. The way that he related to the masses was camouflage: he assimilated to his environment. There were layers of meaning to these stories, and he often said, "Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand." He was speaking to fishermen when he said, "I will make you fishers of men." Jesus spoke in terms his audience would understand, but also challenged them to seek deeper meaning.

Occasionally, Jesus spoke in terms that confused his audience. In his conversation with Nicodemus, Jesus said that he must be "born again". (vs. 4) “What do you mean?” exclaimed Nicodemus. “How can an old man go back into his mother’s womb and be born again?” Later, after showing the crowds his power by feeding 5000 with bread, he then challenged those who were following him for the signs and wonders. (vs. 53-56) He said, “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you cannot have eternal life within you. But anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise that person at the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Anyone who eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in him..." Many people took his words literally and were offended. As a result, (vs. 60) his disciples said, “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” and (vs. 66) many of his disciples turned away and deserted him.

When Jesus was obscure, hard to understand, or shocking, he had a purpose. He was intentionally, strategically weird.

I cited several verses earlier that show that Jesus was set apart, as we are also to be set apart:

John 10:35-37 (NIV) emphasis mine
If he called them 'gods,' to whom the word of God came—and the Scripture cannot be broken— what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, 'I am God's Son'? Do not believe me unless I do what my Father does.

Hebrews 7:25-27 (NIV) emphasis mine
Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them. Such a high priest meets our need—one who is holy, blameless, pure, set apart from sinners, exalted above the heavens. Unlike the other high priests, he does not need to offer sacrifices day after day, first for his own sins, and then for the sins of the people. He sacrificed for their sins once for all when he offered himself.

Notice that Jesus is set apart by the Father to do what the Father does. Jesus isn't set apart and then self-exalted to be the judge of all those who are not set apart. Jesus isn't set above. Jesus is set apart solely to do the will of the Father, which validates and confirms who he is. As our high priest, set apart from sinners, he shows us what we are to do. So many of us set ourselves apart from sinners in disgust, in fear, in judgment. Jesus was set apart from sinners and he offered himself as a sacrifice. We are to be set apart from sinners so that we can serve them.

If Jesus came to this generation...
Imagine for a moment that Jesus was born in 1974, and was beginning his ministry today. Instead of being sent to the Jewish culture of 33 A.D., he was sent to the present-day culture of the United States. How would he speak? What would he do?

I can tell you this: Jesus would not wear a WWJD (or WWID) bracelet. He would not use words like "thee" and "thou" or walk around in silly robes with a beard. He also wouldn't wander around in a suit and tie, "dressed for church". Jesus would very likely be indistinguishable in a crowd. When he spoke to us of spiritual things, he would likely reference The Matrix or Star Wars (images, ideas and vocabulary widely understood in our culture). He would have a MySpace page. He would be concerned about people, not politics or religious debates. He would definitely listen to U2. (wink, wink)

But Jesus did not come to the United States in 2007. In fact, he did not try to reach more than the Jewish culture in 33 A.D., rather commissioning his disciples to continue his work throughout the world. Peter was specifically commanded to reach outside the Jewish community. Paul, a missionary to many cultures and a master of camouflage, said, "I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some."

We are to be Jesus in 2007.
What does that look like? We are to be both obvious and camouflaged.

Matthew 5:13-16 (NLT)
Teaching about Salt and Light
"You are the salt of the earth. But what good is salt if it has lost its flavor? Can you make it salty again? It will be thrown out and trampled underfoot as worthless.
“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."

Mark 9:50 (NLT)
"Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? You must have the qualities of salt among yourselves and live in peace with each other.”

Luke 14:34-35 (NLT)
“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!”

Have you ever accidentally over-salted a meal? Maybe the cap falls out, and instead of a tasty seasoning, you get a tablespoon of salt. Can you fix it? Can you just take out the salt? No! Once it's in there, it's so integrated into every bite of the meal that you cannot separate the two. That is how we are called to be in this world.

The purpose of camouflage in a military setting is to avoid detection in order to infiltrate the enemy. This is not how we should be, however. We are to be involved in our culture -- really plugged in and tuned in to the people around us. When someone is hurting and turns to his co-worker for solace, that should be you. When someone is desperate and needs a helping hand, our hand should be extended. When someone has made the biggest mistake of her life, she should be able to think of the one person who will love her anyway, and that should be you.

As we should be indistinguishable from the rest of our culture in many ways, we should also shine like a light on a hill in others:

• We should be shocking examples of love. Rather than being known for hate speech, judgment and in-fighting, we should make the news with our generosity. We should have a reputation for acceptance and unconditional love. We should be the first ones to respond when there's a disaster. We should be the first ones to show up when there's a tragedy.
  
• We should be marriage champions. Our relationships should be vibrant, healthy, sexy, fun, strong and resilient. There should not as high a divorce rate in the Christian community as in the rest of the world.
  
• We should have great families. Our kids should be confident, kind, virtuous and successful.
  
• We should be successful in whatever we do. As Isaac and Jacob both were uncommonly prosperous, we should draw attention by the way we treat people, how we act at work, and how we live debt-free.

When Jesus used words that were familiar to and resonated with the culture in which he lived (his camouflage), he never intended for us to use those same words in our culture. When we say that we are "fishers of men", we are weird. Jesus directed those comments to fishermen. The English language has evolved since the King James Version was translated, and God never intended us to use Shakespeare's language to communicate in our millennium.

Much like camouflage made it obvious that those trucks didn't belong on the highway, don't use 33 A.D. camouflage in 2007: find ways to be relevant in today's culture, do God's will and give of yourself to others!

Deep Thought Brewing

I've been really busy at work, both at work-work and at home-work. But I'm working on a deep thought, and when I get the time, I'll post it.

In the meantime, go to the links on the right side of my page and visit some other bloggers. Matt's always got something good to say! And if you haven't read Lee's story, you've got to read it now.

While I was getting a pedicure at lunch today, I was flipping through one of those magazines with lots of celebrity photos, and I realized:

If I got in shape, I would look just like Claire Danes.

Almost enough to get me back in the gym. If only last time I tried to get into shape hadn't been such a miserable failure.

Dream A Little Dream

I have been having really vivid dreams lately. I think it's the allergy medicine I'm taking at night. I have these active dreams all night, and I wake up exhausted, like I didn't sleep at all. Thank goodness it's Friday and I can sleep in a little this weekend.

Last night, I had a dream that is still with me this morning. Do you ever have dreams that create such strong emotions that you still feel it when you wake up? Sometimes Martin does something in my dreams and I wake up so mad at him, then have to realize that he didn't do anything at all!

The dream I had last night was this:
I walk into a large church. (It took me a while to figure out which church it was, but it was the church in NC that I attended in high school and college.) I feel like I should know some people, like I should belong, but everyone is a stranger. There are some people who seem familiar, but they don't talk to me. I walk up to the front of the right section, where I always used to sit, but there are no seats. I go to the back and put down my purse, but then I don't know what to do. I try to find the production booth to DO something, but can't find it. I feel lost, unwelcome, and really, really out of place.

I still feel a little of residual emotion from that dream this morning. It's really an awful feeling, wanting to belong, but not belonging.

I'm so thankful for our church, The Life at Scottsdale. We are pretty small, and there are always seats open at the front, back, wherever! I hope that we are friendly and make people feel welcome (you don't want to make new people feel like they stick out, either, so it's a delicate balance of friendliness vs. weird fakeness). Sometimes it feels really uncomfortable to approach someone I don't know and make conversation (I'm really shy -- I know, no one believes me), but it's worth it to make them feel like we care. Because we truly do.

We had an impromptu movie night at our house after church last weekend. We had a house guest, Kissy Harris, and knew some people might want to hang out with her. So we invited anyone who wanted to come over for a movie on our big screen. Anytime we have a get-together at our house, we invite everyone. It's easy to in a church our size! Anyway, I invited a girl who has been coming to our church for a few weeks. She said, "I've gone to church my whole life and no one has ever invited me to do anything."

That made me so sad! I can't imagine what life would be like without my church family. My life is so enriched by each and every person who calls The Life their home. I couldn't pick a better group of people to "do life together" with.

So this is a thank-you to everyone who makes my church warm and friendly, and an encouragement to us all to make sure that no one ever feels like I did last night in my dream. If we can't make someone feel loved in church, where are they going to feel loved?

Things I've Been Meaning to Say

Nauseatingly Nauseous
I own The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations. For those of you who have seen it on my coffee table and thought I bought it: it was a gift. Thanks so much to all of you who ruined my life with this pestilence. Like I don't have enough grammatical pet peeves without having to know that the correct way to pronounce short-lived is with a long i sound. Now I do it. I can't help myself. Even if I'm the only person in the entire American-English speaking world who does.

My point? I'm getting there. This book told me that people misuse nauseous to mean "feeling queasy" when the word actually means "causing nausea". This has made me nuts ever since. (Although, apparently, even the experts differ on this, and many dictionaries accept both definitions.) I try to make a difference in my tiny sphere of influence, but I hear it in books on CD, on movies, TV and even the news.

Again, my point? Well, one: to educate you all a little, I guess. And two: to inflict a little of my own mental anguish on you. Maybe the next time you hear someone (allegedly) misusing nauseous, you'll get a little queasy yourself.

Of course, if you use there and they're interchangeably, and have never used their, then this probably won't significantly impact your life. Wes.

Say My Name, Say My Name
Does it bug you when people use your name? I know that How to Win Friends and Influence People advises that one of the Six Ways to Make People Like You is to "Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language", I have to disagree. Granted, if someone doesn't remember my name after having met me several times, that's a problem. But it's the usage of my name that bugs me.

I think my boss has read this book. He loves to use names as a tool in business. I hear him leaving voicemail all the time, just like this: "Tom. Hi, Tom, this is (my boss' name). I'd like to follow up on the email I sent you earlier today. Tom, please give me a call when it's convenient for you. I'd love to hear from you, Tom. Thanks." Seriously.

The New Girl is even worse! I'll bet she says my name 25 times a day. It's not a tool for influence, either. That's just how she talks! We were both at the hairdresser the other day, and I swear, in 3 sentences, she used the girl's name 4 times! It's crazy!

When I hear someone use my name, unless it's to get my attention, I always hear negative connotation. If Martin calls me by name, instead of using "Honey" or whatever nickname, I think, "Oh, no. He's irritated with me." When the New Girl says it, it feels demanding. I was online chatting with a Customer Service rep about an invoice discrepancy today, and he said, "Betsy, let me explain it to you." and it was so condescending to me that I almost cut off the chat!

Am I crazy? Am I the only one who hates it when people use my name?

Natural Hair Color
I'm blonde again, and I was going to say something in the previous post about how both Martin and my mom like me better that way, but I couldn't remember how my mom phrased it, so I didn't mention it. Then my dad commented that it was my natural color and reminded me.

My mom always says I'm a natural blonde, because I was when I was a baby. (And how cute was I?)

But my blonde hasn't been natural since I was about 12! (And no, I will NOT be posting any pictures of that stage in my life. I went through a very, very ugly-duckling-mates-with-horse phase that needs to not be commemorated, ever.) I've been using Sun-In or getting highlights or just plain going all-blonde-from-a-box for years.

The closest to my natural hair color is the dark brown I've been sporting the past few months. That's got a hint more warmth to it, but it's basically the same shade of brown.

My point? I don't have one, really, except to say thanks to all of you who tell me how beautiful I am when I'm blonde. Just don't tell me it's natural: I pay a lot of money for this color!

That's Why God Invented target="_blank"
This is mostly for techies and geeks and those of you who occasionally venture to the HTML side of your blog. In other words, you and you.

Why do you not take the time to make your links open in a new window? You often complain that no one comments on your posts, but it's because you send us off your blog with a link, and then we're either so interested that we never come back or we're so uninterested that we close the window without hitting the back button to tell you that your links suck.

Or is it just me? Does everyone else like having to hit the back button to leave comments?

The Wonder Years

wonder
noun
1. The emotion aroused by something awe-inspiring, astounding, or marvelous
2. Something that causes feelings of wonder; "the wonders of modern science"
3. A state in which you want to learn more about something [syn: curiosity]

When is the last time you felt wonder?

If you're like me, it's been a while. The ability to wonder diminishes with age. Experience lessens our capacity to wonder. Perhaps it's that there are fewer "firsts". As we age, there is less newness to the things that surround us. The world is mundane. Events are routine. Life loses its luster.

Watch young children, and you will see wonder. (Do you remember the magic of Christmas morning as a child?)

As a child, I wondered at movies. The town we grew up in had only one movie theater, and there was not much else in the way of recreation. Only one title showed per week, every night except Wednesdays, but Friday nights were the biggest night for the town to go out to the show. The previews we saw on TV as "coming soon to a theater near you" would arrive 6 months later, if at all. You can imagine the anticipation of waiting for a movie to arrive. Expectation was high. The night of the movie, we would arrive a half hour early, and wait in the line that wrapped around the corner. We would pay for our tickets ($3, if I recall), and go inside. In the tiny lobby, there was a concession stand with the usual fare. The aroma of fresh, salty, buttered popcorn would waft into the theater as you entered. The theater was huge, with a balcony. It was usually dimly lit when we entered. We would sit and wait for the previews to begin. (This was before the commercials and music that fill the waiting time.) The lights would go out, the curtains would open, and the screen would flicker to life. Oh, the thrill! The anticipation! The expectation of wonderful things to come. The darkness enveloped us and transported us to amazing places.

Even to this day, after seeing thousands of movies, I still get a tiny thrill when the lights go out.

Wonder is a powerful emotion, and it's not caused by small things. It's caused by grand events, marvelous sights, and magical moments. Joy is easily felt, with the right outlook. Happiness, even surprise, bubble up quickly and without much provocation. A funny card. An unexpected plot twist. Finding a good parking space.

Wonder must be experience on a greater scale. As an adult, there are still a few moments of wonder:

• The first time I saw Eastman Curtis give an altar call at a youth conference.
• Glimpses of my husband's wedding ring the first few months of marriage.
• Endless vistas of clouds from an airplane window.
• The gorgous horizon as we drove into Phoenix for the first time, with the majestic mountains and regal cacti.
• The first time I peered over the edge of the Grand Canyon.
• The first Sunday morning at The Life, looking at the crowded seats and it hit us: "We did it!"
• Last Saturday night at The Life, when God moved and we abandoned our schedule to let Him.
  

What makes you wonder?

Calvin Who?

No, not that Calvin, although he was named after John Calvin.

The subject of Calvinism has come up recently because several churches in the Phoenix area teach predestination.

In short, Calvinism teaches that:

1. God is sovereign;
2. All mankind has a fallen nature;
3. God's sovereignty would be constrained if man was truly able to choose to accept or reject him;
4. Therefore, in our corrupt state, we are unable to choose salvation;
5. In his grace, God has chosen (elected or preordained) that some should receive salvation (and effectively choosing that some should not and be damned).

Anyone who has any head knowledge of the Bible or any heart knowledge of the nature and character of God instinctively knows that this cannot be true. For if I am preordained to be saved, then all I must do is receive his acceptance of me and then live like the devil. And if I am preordained for damnation, then why should I try to do right?

It's almost impossible for me to comprehend how someone could adhere to this doctrine and live a life of peace. Would you not always wonder if you were one of the damned? I would.

Do any of you have any experience with someone who believes this doctrine?

I'm Thankful

At Bible study last night, we talked about how our thoughts and words shape our lives. The antidote to worry (or stress or negative thinking) is praise and thanksgiving. So... here's what I'm thankful this morning:

• A husband who loves all of me, not just the nice or sexy parts. He finds my habit of taking three months to unpack from a trip amusing. He endures my desire to do laundry only every few weeks with patience and only hints gently when he's down to the last pair of clean undies. He's got a great sense of humor about most of my annoying habits, and allows me to be me most of the time.
• Pastors who are truly wise. Brad blew my mind last night the way he handled a certain situation. When I would have (and did) reacted with condemnation, he spoke with authority, love and compassion. He and Noelle teach me so much in the way that they live their lives and deal with tough situations.
• A mom who knows even at 30 I'm not too old to get an Easter basket!
• My DVR. I know, it's sad, but it frees me up to do what's really important and still catch all my shows.
• A workplace that is fun, relatively stress-free and calm enough that I can usually steal a few minutes to blog. A boss who's crazy generous, and who genuinely has my best interest at heart.
• A husband who works extremely hard to provide a good life for me. (I can be thankful for him twice!) He's managed to network old relationships, develop new business, and maintain a great relationship with his former employer so successfully. Although I knew he could do it when we took the leap over a year ago, I thought that it would be rough, and some months would be very tight. We have been blessed with more than enough, and have never had to wonder if we could pay the bills.
• A bounty of relationships here in Arizona. It's never not felt like home. Whether it's the ones we brought with us or the new friends we've made, I have never felt alone or without a network of support. I know that I am blessed and that God has brought each of you into my life. I hope that I can be as much of a blessing to you as you all are to me.

That's a small start to a big list from a full heart. Even as I write, my heart swells with gratefulness to God for all his favor and blessings.

What are you thankful for?

I'm Alive...

... but the beginning of the month is the busiest time for me at work. I'm thinking deep thoughts and will post later this week, I promise.

I'm as sick of the spanking post as I'm sure you all are.

And since I promised I'd share my own views, here they are*:

I was spanked as a kid, and although I am sure there were hundreds of spankings, I only remember two.

One of them I remember because my brother framed me and I got in trouble for something he had done. That's OK, though. I'll get him back one of these days.

The other time I remember because of how embarrassing it was. My brother and I were playing at a friend's house, and I was old enough to have a crush on the guy, so I might have been 7 or 8. There was an unloaded BB gun, and although my mom had warned me not to point it at anyone, for some reason I pointed it at my brother's face. My mom spanked me with a bundle of dowel rods (our usual wooden spatula was at home) and broke them! It didn't even hurt that much... it was just so humiliating.

What I do remember from my childhood is that I knew that I knew that I knew that if Mom said she was going to spank me if I did something, she would. There was no idle threatening or counting to three in my house. If you were told not to do something, and you did it, you got spanked. That consistency taught me (quickly!) to do what I was told. Although I don't remember the spankings, and I'm sure there were many, I had a respect for authority and boundaries from a very young age.

That is why I will spank my children. I believe that if you are consistent with discipline when your child is 3 or 4, you won't have to be fighting with an uncontrollable 8-year-old or trying to make a 15-year-old understand boundaries. Teaching obedience, self-denial and respect at an early age should make parenting your child a blessing as he grows. I think that's in the Bible somewhere.

I do think that how you spank is very important. You have to connect the punishment to the action. I believe that you have to point out to a child the behavior that is wrong and clearly explain the consequences for continuing that action. (Of course, once you've told your son repeatedly that pushing a friend is wrong, you don't have to warn every time he does it. You can just spank.) Then, when the child chooses to do wrong (instead of unknowingly doing wrong... so-called "honest mistakes"), he has chosen his punishment over doing right.

Follow-up after the spanking is important, too. I never doubted that my parents loved me, even when I was unjustly punished. There was never a period of coldness after the spanking. After the punishment has been given, the child should be warmly welcomed back into family life, shown affection and forgiveness. A child needs to know that she is still loved and accepted, even when she does wrong.

As several of the comments pointed out, discipline for a child does have to take in account that child's personality and temperament. So I'm not saying that when I have children, God willing, I may not employ time outs or privilege restriction as punishment. I'm pretty sure I won't count. But don't hold me to it!

*All comments on parenting are coming from someone who has never had children. So take it for what it's worth. It's easy to know everything now, but when I've had 4 hours of sleep and my 2-year-old dumps his cereal on the floor and then pees on the carpet, I'm not sure how much of my own advice I'm going to remember to follow.

David posted today about legislation is several Southern states expressing regret for their part in the history of slavery in our country. Below is an excerpt of his thoughts. Click on the header to read it in full and the article that inspired him.

I’m Sorry

...I’m going to take a little shot in the dark here and guess that there are no people alive today that were slaves in a state in the United States. No one that owned slaves or anyone that was a slave. ...I’m also going to take a wild guess and say that most of the African American or Black people in the world today are much better off than the people that were slaves and even sharecroppers during the early 20th century. Maybe I’m ignorant on this whole thing but this was a long time ago and no one that was alive during that time is still alive now. It is the past and I think we have proven that we are fully behind freedom for anyone regardless of their skin color.

I understand where his frustration is coming from. I have thought similar things in the past.

I'm trying to be sensitive here, and if I don't say things exactly right, please hang with me. This is one of those "land mine" subjects where if you say something one way, it's good, and if you say it another, it's awful. Like the way my grandmother referred to a Black (or African-American) person as Negro with all respect, because that was the proper term when she was growing up. Now, it's somewhat offensive, or at least tinged with the connotation of discrimination. (That was when I was in high school, and her terminology has caught up now.)

Especially on the topic of affirmative action and racial quotas, I have felt like it's no longer necessary for us to give unearned preference to a person just because of the hardships that his grandparents or parents experienced. My frustration usually comes from overly "PC" people trying to make anyone with white skin feel guilty for our sins (when no one in my family was even in this country at the time!), or from people of color playing victim and seeing discrimination around every corner.

I particularly have a hard time with public figures like Al Sharpton. He is a purposefully controversial figure, and every time I've heard or seen him on TV, I've been turned off by his blustering, over-the-top manner. As a result, I can't say that I've ever heard anything he's said.

The other night, I was watching The Daily Show, and the guest was Al Sharpton. My thought was, What a buffoon. I prepared to fast-forward through the interview, if it got annoying.

I think he may have written a book or something, which is why he appeared on the show. Maybe it was just for the odd genealogy tie to Strom Thurmond. I don't recall. But he started talking about how his grandfather was born a slave. And I got to thinking of my grandfathers, and how close that connection is to me... and it became unimaginable for me that they could have been slaves and it wouldn't affect me, today. The spiritual decisions that my grandfather made affected my mother and it is my spiritual heritage. The financial decisions that my grandfathers both made resulted in a certain lifestyle for both of my parents that resulted in education and careers that made my life easier.

He made mention that he signed an autograph the other day and it gave him pause to write his surname, as he got the name "Sharpton" because the man who owned his grandfather was named that. And I got a new perspective.

I was humbled by my arrogant, hateful thoughts about him, having obviously never met the man. I was humbled by my previous thoughts that Blacks should just "get over it". I was humbled by my lack of sensitivity and compassion for those who truly are still struggling because of the heritage that their grandparents and great-grandparents left them due to the horrible social injustice of slavery and the following discrimination.

I have heard that the institution of slavery purposely broke down the family structure of the slaves. Marriage was forbidden, children were sold away from parents. How can we not think that these scars do not still exist in the families of those who were born in the generations that followed?

I'm not saying that there aren't a lot of people who choose to be victims. Who decide to achieve less than their potential and use the color of their skin or their family history to excuse their moral and character failings. I'm not saying that we should all feel "white guilt" or be super-PC or favor certain groups unfairly. I'm not even saying Al Sharpton is a great guy.

What I am saying is that I found myself guilty of pride. Lacking in compassion and love. Standing in judgment of a man whose history I hadn't bothered to find out and whose motivations I had assumed. And I was humbled by that realization.

David's post today made me think that I'm probably not the only one who gets mad at times and thinks that "some people" just need to move on. And I wanted to share my personal realization in the hopes that we can all have a little more compassion.

It's been one of those days.

First, I got up and got in the shower, only to find that we have NO HOT WATER. I woke up Martin, who gallantly checked on the water heater to find that the pilot light had gone out. As he fumbled for matches I thought, "What if there's gas leaking and he blows up? My life insurance is in effect, but his isn't. Maybe I should light the pilot light." I just love pondering my spouse's demise so early in the morning.

So I ran about an inch of cold water in the tub in the guest bathroom, then poured in a teapot of boiling water (all of this taking about 20 minutes, which put me at a dead run to get dressed for work). I hung my towel on the rod, which fell off the wall and slammed my toe. The bath was just barely warm enough to do the major cleaning but not even close to hot. I couldn't bear to stick my head in... and I really needed to wash my hair!

Shivering and shaking, I got dressed, then used half a can of hair spray to ensure that I did not look like the greasy urchin I am. My shoes don't match my outfit, and my pants are wrinkled. All I really wanted to do was crawl back in bed and skip today.

I guess it can only get better from here. How was your morning?

XXX

Yes, that's right. For the next 365 days, I am triple-X rated. At least that's easier to say than th... thu... thu... not 29 anymore.

I pondered the meaning of this day while in the shower this morning. I had some really deep thoughts. And since it's my birthday, you have to listen to them. I'm a survivor, really, and so I am going to develop some coping skills to make it through this decade:

1. I've decided to go with the Roman numeral expression of my age, because it's sexier.
2. This is the year that I start demurring to reveal my age.
3. And for the heck of it, I'm going to start lying about my weight and height! Heck, for a 125-pound woman of 6'2", I'm positively malnourished!
4. In keeping with #2, I shall go with the first word that comes to mind when speaking or blogging, and make everyone else just look it up if they don't know it!
5. I've decided that 30 is the new 12 (as the assurance from my boss' brother on Monday that "30 is the new 50!" did nothing to relieve my anxiety), and I have the acne to prove it. So if I roll my eyes and you and mutter "Whatever" under my breath, you know why.
6. The main reason I so feared this tomb... er, milestone... was not so much the agedness as what it signifies in my life. Ever since I actually was 12, I've had ideas of how my life would progress. I've hit the college, marriage and house goals, but I can't help but feel like we've failed on the kids goal. Also, at this year, I thought I would be a "grown-up", and I don't feel like one yet.
7. In keeping with #6, I've decided to no longer define myself by accomplishments, but by who and what I am.
   I am someone who cries at the homeless shelter when we run out of food.
   I am someone who laughs loudly at The Office, every time.
   I am someone who will show up to your kid's birthday party and every time you move, even if it's twice in the same year.
   I am someone who admits freely that she is wrong, when it happens, which is rarely.
   I am someone who does Sudoku puzzles... on the toilet.
   I am someone who takes three months to unpack.
   
8. I pondered whether or not someone of my numerical advancement should still color her hair on a whim, but I decided that it's still appropriate for another decade or so. My uncle Duane will be so pleased.
   
9. I will take comfort in the fact that many, many others are much, much older than me. And they seem to be doing quite well in their pulchritude.
10. Although my memory may slip as the years pass, I'm still lucid enough to remember who was nice today and who was naughty, and revenge will be sweet when their time comes.

So to the many, many of you who have called, emailed and texted their birthday wishes, thank you for thinking of me. Your friendship warms my heart.

This was my conversation with a 4-year-old last night:

She's lying face-down on a mat in the nursery, and flopping around like a fish.

Me: Why are you being so weird?

A: I'm not! And I'm sad.

Me: Why are you sad?

A: Because I don't have any powers. I want to be... special. And I don't have any super powers.

Me: You are special!

A: Everyone tells me to be myself, but I don't want to be myself. I want to be someone else. I'm not magical.

From previous conversations we've had, I know that this girl takes what she sees on television very seriously. Although she is the queen of make-believe, I'm not sure she realizes that what she sees on TV is totally imaginary.

But this really isn't a conversation about children and television. It's about a little girl who truly is magical, who doesn't realize how absolutely special her "myself" is.

As she gave us her rendition of "Let It Snow" after our class last night, complete with dance moves both choreographed and improvised, I couldn't help but think that she really is missing the point. Do we have to put her on television for her to see herself as we see her? From the start, she has captured our hearts and continues to amaze us.

As I watch this quirky, brilliant princess grow up before my eyes, I realize that her struggle is not so far from my own. How many of us, in the little girl deep within, wish that we too could be special? I would love to have a super power and to be seen as unique and powerful. Our perceptions of ourselves are so often skewed by what we see on TV and in the world around us. (I love this video that shows how false those images can be.)

1 Peter 3:4 (NIV)
Instead, it should be that of your inner self,
the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,
which is of great worth in God's sight.

It is only in the reflections we see in the eyes and hearts of those who truly know and love us can we see our true selves. As we grow more confident in God's love and who he created us to be, we will find that we are truly magical indeed.

I've been a little uninspired and uninspiring lately, and for that, I apologize. Life has been busy, and I've actually been working at work.

I was inspired by this post this morning, so I thought I would share it with you. Not that he has any answers, but he asks good questions.

RC at Strange Culture writes:

I think many of us wish we could evaluate our personal level of success better.
...
I think that's why American television is always filled with stories about police officers, lawyers, and doctors. At the end of the day there are ways for a police officer to tell they were successful. On CSI they always solve the crime, on Law and Order justice is served, and on House M.D. they figure out how to cure the odd disease. Even Jack Bauer is almost always able to foil the terrorist at the last minute, and when something goes wrong, viewers are forced to reconcile the situation with the knowledge that it could have been worse.
...
Yet, it's all flawed human logic. The other day I was reading Psalms 115 and in achieved and unachieved goals my prayer has been: "Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory."

Read more at Measuring the Intangibles of Success

This is such an appropriate discussion at this time in my life. As part of the leadership team of our church, we're examining the past few years and taking stock of our effectiveness in reaching our goals. How do you measure success? Church attendance? Life change? Something in-between?

And as I approach the big 3-0, I wonder: have I achieved "success" in my life? How do I measure that? How do others measure me?

In this holiday season when we gather together with those we love, remember to show those you appreciate how you feel. And as we review 2006 and make plans and goal for the coming year, let's measure our success in the intangibles.

1 Corinthians 12:27 (NLT)
All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.

What does
Christ's body,
the church,
look like?

God Doesn't Think You're Funny

I was listening to a comedian who was talking about how his father used to slap the kids on the back of the head in church if they got the giggles, and say, "God doesn't think you're funny!"

Which of course is totally untrue. Who do you think created your sense of humor?

Sometimes, though, as "churched" people, we can get a little touchy about making fun of sacred cows. (My recent post is an example.)

These should be safe for all viewers, though:

• Rejected Church Slogans (via Church Marketing Sucks, of course!)

• Church Videos (not rejected, though perhaps some of them should be!) (via)
  Mr. President
  Napoleon Dynamite
  Flatman and Bobbin
  

Which reminds me of some funnies I made last year, as slides for our church.