An Open Letter

To the old-ish guy sitting behind us at Olive Garden today:

No one cares about your back injuries, including the guy sitting across from you pretending to care.

Perhaps we all care in the larger, "I'm sorry that a fellow human being was in pain" kind of way, but we don't want to hear about every detail, including your daily exercise routine and the vibrating massager that you shouldn't use too aggressively or you'll hurt yourself. I especially don't care to hear it for 25 minutes in excruciating detail at cell-phone-in-an-airport volume, when I'm celebrating my husband's birthday at his favorite restaurant.

Thank you.

Is It Just Me?

Am I the only one who...

• Can't seem to get those comment verifiers on the first try? You know, it's one of these:
  
  And those aren't even the hard ones with the letters all merged together with an overlaid grid!
  
  
• Uses Google to spell-check? I love the "Did you mean..." feature!
  
  
• Hates any embedded video that doesn't allow you to pause it until it's fully loaded? Nothing ruins a funny video more than pausing every 2.3 seconds for buffering.
  
  
• Uses Wikipedia as a culture guide or to "get the joke"? Anytime I ask myself, "what's the deal with (whatever)?" I just look it up on wikipedia.org. The best and most informative ones so far have been "badger badger badger" and "Flying Spaghetti Monster". The only time it's failed me is when it offered no insight into the crazy Scientology brain of Tom Cruise and his many acronyms.
  
  
• Goes to snopes.com (or other websites that combat spam email and urban legends) to verify what's in a forward BEFORE I send it to 85 of my closest friends? (I know I'm the only one who does a "Reply to All" with the snopes.com entry... but we've got to stop the insanity!)
  
  On a related note, I found this page the other day and will be sending it when appropriate.
  
  
• Is confused, baffled and bothered by the prevalent use of an apostrophe to pluralize a word? (For example: "All entree's come with a side of rice" or "I put my photo's and video's online" and the more common 80's or CD's.) Why do people do this? Can anyone explain?
  
  
• Plays a song 100 times in a row when I love it? For instance, that Michael Bublé video I posted the other day... I played it about 15 times in a row.
  
  
• Doesn't think it's a huge deal when someone sings a 'Christian' song on American Idol? The New Girl was in ecstasy two weeks in a row because someone sang 'This Little Light of Mine' and then 'Shout to the Lord'. Heathens have been singing gospel music for years.
  

Just checkin'.

Side note: check out my newest gig! (Thanks, Terri, for the referral.) Those are my designs. I'm working with a realty photographer to design templates with his photos. Very cool.

Random Thoughts on Music

Once again, it's month end and I'm listening to Pandora. (Terri, there's the link for you.)

I am really starting to love John Mayer's music. So many times I hear a song, check to see who it is, and it's his.

Like Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, In Repair and Gravity,

(I still hate No Such Thing, Waiting on the World to Change and Say.)

Has anyone heard the new Michael Bublé song? So good. Someone has combined two of my favorite things:

Truth in Advertising

I listen to Pandora radio most of the day. I have about 12 stations, from Josh Groban to Yanni to Corinne Bailey Rae.

As with most free web stuff, there are always ads on the left side of the page. They usually employ tons of graphics to try to get me interested in whatever they're advertising. And it never works.

But today, I clicked an ad. This one:

I can't exactly say why. It might have been the Napoleon Dynamite-esqu artwork. It certainly had to do with the humor that was so true. Aren't ALL web video clips grainy? Why do we try to say otherwise?

The video clip was brief and, as advertised, grainy. It was intriguing enough for me to click through, but in the end, I'm not that interested in Mexican beer. If that's even what the ambiguous website is trying to advertise. It seems more like a travel brochure than anything.

Anyhow, here's my deep thought for the day. If you're really honest about what you're offering, even if whatever you're offering kind of sucks, it might work if you do it with humor. I do not think that has any real-life application value at all, but take it for what it's worth.

If you'd like a true deep thought of the day, check out Brian's blog.

Yikes!

Brian posted pictures on his website, and I seriously did a double-take. (This is going to give away how out of touch I am with all the political hoopla that is currently going on...)

Because I thought he was shaking hands with President Logan.

I guess I've never seen a picture of Mike Huckabee before. Apparently, I'm not the only one who sees it. (It's just like the "Tony is evil in Season 7" memo that I missed.)

Oh, well. If Huckabee does make it to the Oval Office, I hope he turns out to be a better president than Charles Logan.

Turn That Off!

I was listening to the radio at lunch today, and a certain song came on that I hate so much that I changed the station. There are only a few songs that prompt that strong of a negative response from me, and I was wondering: What songs do you hate so much you can't listen to them?

I can only think of two that make me turn the station, although there are many songs I hate:

More Than Words by Extreme
It's the combination of the long man-hair, which I can't see on radio but I can't help but picture it, the acoustic guitar with male harmony, and the horribly lyrics that make this song unbearable. Why they continue to play it is beyond me.

Hero by Enrique Iglesias
Which is ironic, because I love, love, love his father's music. But his whiny voice and dumb lyrics make my blood pressure rise, not that it takes much these days.

Things I've Been Meaning to Say

Nauseatingly Nauseous
I own The Big Book of Beastly Mispronunciations. For those of you who have seen it on my coffee table and thought I bought it: it was a gift. Thanks so much to all of you who ruined my life with this pestilence. Like I don't have enough grammatical pet peeves without having to know that the correct way to pronounce short-lived is with a long i sound. Now I do it. I can't help myself. Even if I'm the only person in the entire American-English speaking world who does.

My point? I'm getting there. This book told me that people misuse nauseous to mean "feeling queasy" when the word actually means "causing nausea". This has made me nuts ever since. (Although, apparently, even the experts differ on this, and many dictionaries accept both definitions.) I try to make a difference in my tiny sphere of influence, but I hear it in books on CD, on movies, TV and even the news.

Again, my point? Well, one: to educate you all a little, I guess. And two: to inflict a little of my own mental anguish on you. Maybe the next time you hear someone (allegedly) misusing nauseous, you'll get a little queasy yourself.

Of course, if you use there and they're interchangeably, and have never used their, then this probably won't significantly impact your life. Wes.

Say My Name, Say My Name
Does it bug you when people use your name? I know that How to Win Friends and Influence People advises that one of the Six Ways to Make People Like You is to "Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language", I have to disagree. Granted, if someone doesn't remember my name after having met me several times, that's a problem. But it's the usage of my name that bugs me.

I think my boss has read this book. He loves to use names as a tool in business. I hear him leaving voicemail all the time, just like this: "Tom. Hi, Tom, this is (my boss' name). I'd like to follow up on the email I sent you earlier today. Tom, please give me a call when it's convenient for you. I'd love to hear from you, Tom. Thanks." Seriously.

The New Girl is even worse! I'll bet she says my name 25 times a day. It's not a tool for influence, either. That's just how she talks! We were both at the hairdresser the other day, and I swear, in 3 sentences, she used the girl's name 4 times! It's crazy!

When I hear someone use my name, unless it's to get my attention, I always hear negative connotation. If Martin calls me by name, instead of using "Honey" or whatever nickname, I think, "Oh, no. He's irritated with me." When the New Girl says it, it feels demanding. I was online chatting with a Customer Service rep about an invoice discrepancy today, and he said, "Betsy, let me explain it to you." and it was so condescending to me that I almost cut off the chat!

Am I crazy? Am I the only one who hates it when people use my name?

Natural Hair Color
I'm blonde again, and I was going to say something in the previous post about how both Martin and my mom like me better that way, but I couldn't remember how my mom phrased it, so I didn't mention it. Then my dad commented that it was my natural color and reminded me.

My mom always says I'm a natural blonde, because I was when I was a baby. (And how cute was I?)

But my blonde hasn't been natural since I was about 12! (And no, I will NOT be posting any pictures of that stage in my life. I went through a very, very ugly-duckling-mates-with-horse phase that needs to not be commemorated, ever.) I've been using Sun-In or getting highlights or just plain going all-blonde-from-a-box for years.

The closest to my natural hair color is the dark brown I've been sporting the past few months. That's got a hint more warmth to it, but it's basically the same shade of brown.

My point? I don't have one, really, except to say thanks to all of you who tell me how beautiful I am when I'm blonde. Just don't tell me it's natural: I pay a lot of money for this color!

That's Why God Invented target="_blank"
This is mostly for techies and geeks and those of you who occasionally venture to the HTML side of your blog. In other words, you and you.

Why do you not take the time to make your links open in a new window? You often complain that no one comments on your posts, but it's because you send us off your blog with a link, and then we're either so interested that we never come back or we're so uninterested that we close the window without hitting the back button to tell you that your links suck.

Or is it just me? Does everyone else like having to hit the back button to leave comments?

I Was Going to Post...

but then Shannon asked me a question, and in the process of trying to find the answer, I ended up redoing my blog template, and now I've wasted 3 hours and I need to get to work.

So I'll post tomorrow!

Smacking Ban Bill Opposed

Those zany New Zealanders... but seriously. I'm sure if some in the US had their druthers, they'd introduce similar legislation here. There's certainly a lot of support on the anti-spanking side.

How many of you were spanked as a child?

(We're not talking about child abuse, but the common practice of spanking that does not leave welts, bruises, etc.)

If you were, how do you feel about it? Will you or do you spank your own children?
If you weren't, what methods did your parents employ to punish you? Did it work? Would you consider spanking your own children?

I'll give you my personal experiences and thoughts later, although most of you probably already know where I stand.

So True It Isn't Funny

This deep thought was sent to me by my brother.

Is That Butt-er On Your Finger?

I was on YouTube and I saw this ad for "Featured Butterfinger Videos".

Is it just me, or is that far right image just plain wrong? That picture does NOT make me hungry. It DOES make me want to wash my hands.

Igor? Who is Igor?

Does anyone know what this is all about?

Where is Amy's blog?